My children are just about to complete their formal education, and their focus is turning to their careers. Their 20’s is a decade of building, learning, and becoming. They stand at a crossroads of immense possibility, making decisions that will shape the foundation of their lives. If you find yourself here, choosing whether to focus your energy on your career, or focus on your personal life, or try to do it all, I want to start by telling you something crucial: the choice is yours.
It is your life, your career, your definition of happiness. Own that power. That can feel a lot can’t it? But what I have learned, but was never told, you are not meant to do it alone. You need your own personal village: the peers who understand your daily struggle, your besties who help you regulate, laugh and chill whilst wanting the very best for you, the mentors who light the path ahead, and the champions who shout your name in rooms you have not yet entered.
As someone who has walked this path, made mistakes, and celebrated victories, I want to share some advice I have gathered along the way. Think of this as a letter from an older, wiser friend who is cheering you on from the sidelines.
Own Your Career with Unwavering Intention
Your career is one of the many significant journeys you will take. The most important lesson is this: nobody will ever care about it as much as you do. Leaving your professional growth in someone else’s hands is a mistake. Once you have a sense of what you want, you must be the one to go after it. It won’t be linear, it won’t be without setbacks and disappointments, but nothing worth having ever is. Remember, your dream role is unlikely to be handed to you on a silver platter.
Owning your career means being proactive. It involves seeking out opportunities, asking for the projects you want, and advocating for your own advancement. Find your allies and champions because they will help you open doors, spot opportunities, or give you advice on where to look.
Have a Vision, Not a Rigid Plan
While it is vital to have a direction, life rarely moves in a straight line. Your career is not a ladder; it is more like a chessboard, with different ways to move forward, twists, turns, and unexpected routes to the top. I like to use the metaphor of being like a trip to a foreign country. You have an idea about the places you want to see and experiences you want to have, but you remain open to the magic of spontaneous detours.
Some of the most rewarding professional experiences come from unplanned opportunities. A side project could ignite a new passion, or a conversation with a colleague could open a door you never knew existed. Hold your vision lightly. Allow it to be a guiding star rather than a rigid set of instructions. This flexibility will enable you to adapt, grow, and seize the beautiful, unexpected moments that will inevitably arise.
Play to Your Innate Strengths
What are you naturally good at? The answer is often invisible to you because it comes so easily. Your strengths are the activities that energise you, the tasks that feel less like work and more like play. These are your unique superpowers.
Pay close attention. What do colleagues consistently praise you for? What tasks on your to-do list get you excited? Your strengths lie at the intersection of what you love and what you do well. Society often tells women to work on their weaknesses, but your greatest potential for growth lies in amplifying what you are already brilliant at. When you build a career around your strengths, you create a sustainable path to excellence and fulfilment.
Define Your Own Version of Success
Stop comparing yourself to others. They had a different starting point and followed a different path to you. Be careful whose advice you follow, because they might have a contrary view of success. Parents, teachers, society, and social media all have an opinion on what a successful life should look like. It is time to mute that noise and listen to the only voice that truly matters: your own.
What does success mean to you across all areas of your life—your work, your relationships, your health, and your happiness? Your definition is the only one that counts. Take time regularly to check in with yourself. Where are you thriving? Where are the gaps? What needs your attention? This personal definition of success will become your compass, helping you make choices that are authentic to who you are and what you truly want.
Align Your Time with Your Priorities
Time is the only resource that, once used, can be replaced. How you spend it tells you what you value right now. If you are filling it with urgent but unimportant tasks, you might be valuing others opinion of you, and falling into people pleasing. To live a life of intention, you must align how you spend your time with your priorities and what will add value to you..
Whether your priority is landing a promotion, investing in your relationships, or protecting your well-being, no one is the judge other than you. Make sure you put a non-negotiable spot in your diary and block out time for important, deep work, for connecting with loved ones, for exercise, and for pure, unapologetic play. When your calendar reflects your values, you move from being reactive to being the conscious creator of your life.
Cultivate Unshakeable Confidence
Confidence is when you trust yourself, back yourself, and know yourself. Confidence is often a better predictor of career success than competence. Let’s face it, we have seen many men with little competence get the promotion because of their confidence. Women tend to choose competence first but a healthy mix is mastery. Competence alone is not enough and may keep you stuck in a role just because you are good at it, without any stretch or possibility of growth. Research shows that confidence and presence, your character, are critical for getting ahead.
And let me remind you, confidence is not arrogance. It is a deep-seated belief in your ability to figure things out. Being humble has its place, but you also need to own your successes. Many women say they feel like an imposter, but that is simply not true. You have the capability, experience, and strengths, but perhaps you aren’t owning them. Perhaps you’re in the wrong room, with the wrong people, who don’t want to see your brilliance. The “system” wasn’t built for women, so we need to rebuild.
Invest in Your Relationships
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, invest in your relationships. In the early stages of your career, it is tempting to believe that ticking one more task of the to-do list is more important than having lunch with a colleague. It is not. That relationship could provide support, opportunities, and friendship for years to come.
Your network is your greatest asset. Job opportunities, career advice, and crucial introductions almost always come through people you know. Nurture these connections with genuine curiosity and generosity. Make time for coffee, check in with former colleagues, and be a connector for others. Building a strong, supportive network is not a transaction; it is the most human and rewarding investment you will ever make in your career.
You are powerful, you are capable, and you are on a unique and beautiful journey. Embrace your choices, build your village, and never forget to enjoy the process of becoming. The world is waiting for your light.
We hold peer groups for women in the workplace. If you want to join, let us know.